牧师Tunde Ayeni建议会众中的单身成员不要仅凭浪漫爱情来决定结婚。他认为,爱不应是选择配偶的唯一或首要基础,因为婚姻需要智慧、相容性、品格、共同价值观以及共同建立平静生活的能力。他指出,选择婚姻伴侣是重大决定,会深刻影响一个人的情感和精神福祉。在他看来,嫁错人可能剥夺一个人的平静,使其难以体验他所描述的安息生活。阿耶尼牧师还表示,仅仅因为爱一个人而结婚并不一定符合圣经。他解释说,强烈的情感可能使人过度依赖伴侣,并在必要时不愿挑战或纠正对方。
他说:“如果你嫁给你爱的人,你就已经是他们的奴隶,因为你一生都会努力不让他们失望,因为你爱他们。面对正确的事情,你可能仍会顺从他们,因为你不愿冒犯你所爱的对象。”由此,他暗示过度的情感依恋可能使人妥协自己的信念,容忍他们本会认为是错误的行为。他进一步警告,深厚的感情可能阻碍夫妻之间完全坦诚相待。
Some spouses, he said, may avoid telling the truth or addressing serious concerns because they fear creating tension, hurting their partner’s feelings, or disturbing the peaceful atmosphere in the home. Over time, such avoidance can allow unresolved problems to grow.He therefore encouraged singles to look beyond their emotions and carefully consider whether they can genuinely live with the person they intend to marry.
They should reflect on the individual’s character, values, attitude, sense of responsibility, and ability to communicate and resolve disagreements. Pastor Ayeni also advised them to seek guidance from trusted and mature people before making a final decision. He emphasized that his message was not intended to dismiss love, but to encourage singles to make thoughtful, prayerful, and responsible choices rather than allowing temporary emotions to determine a lifelong commitment.
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