Pastor Tunde Ayeni has advised single members of his congregation not to base their decision to marry solely on romantic love. In his view, love should not be the only or primary foundation for choosing a spouse, because marriage requires wisdom, compatibility, character, shared values, and the ability to build a peaceful life together. He argued that choosing a marriage partner is a significant decision that can greatly influence a person’s emotional and spiritual well-being. According to him, marrying the wrong person can deprive an individual of peace and make it difficult for him to experience what he described as a life of rest.Pastor Ayeni also stated that marrying someone simply because one loves that person is not necessarily biblical. He explained that intense affection may cause a person to become overly dependent on a partner and unwilling to challenge or correct them when necessary.
He said, “If you marry the person you love, you’re already a slave to them, because you will live all your life trying not to displease them because you love them. In the face of what is right, you may still go along with them because you do not want to offend the object of your love.”By this, he suggested that excessive emotional attachment can make people compromise their convictions and tolerate behavior they would otherwise recognize as wrong. He further warned that deep affection might prevent couples from being completely honest with one another.
Some spouses, he said, may avoid telling the truth or addressing serious concerns because they fear creating tension, hurting their partner’s feelings, or disturbing the peaceful atmosphere in the home. Over time, such avoidance can allow unresolved problems to grow.He therefore encouraged singles to look beyond their emotions and carefully consider whether they can genuinely live with the person they intend to marry.
They should reflect on the individual’s character, values, attitude, sense of responsibility, and ability to communicate and resolve disagreements. Pastor Ayeni also advised them to seek guidance from trusted and mature people before making a final decision. He emphasized that his message was not intended to dismiss love, but to encourage singles to make thoughtful, prayerful, and responsible choices rather than allowing temporary emotions to determine a lifelong commitment.
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